My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
