She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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