I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You are the jesus of drinking
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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