Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
