where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
