did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Vodka?
Forever.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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