And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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