So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
