I think scott just propositioned me for sex
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
