we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize