I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
