remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
