Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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