Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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