There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
