but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
