frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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