yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
