We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
