i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
smell my finger.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
