Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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