just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
