No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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