What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I supernannyed him into submission
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
