I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
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