You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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