Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
