i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
