I want to have your abortion
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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