Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
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