Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
