well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
