It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize