Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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