Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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