im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize