Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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