Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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