My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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