Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
