Tell her she can't have a vagina
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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