Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
