So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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