am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
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She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
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I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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