Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
