you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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