I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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