I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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