The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
