i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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