Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
