So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
is wine microwaveable?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
