he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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