For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
