I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
