you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
