Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
