so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
