Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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