Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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