This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
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