id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize